:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
