he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
