with your own penis?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
