I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
