Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
