I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
