If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
