apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
