I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
