just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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