she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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