he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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