those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
