so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You smell like stripper and shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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