i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
how do flat chested girls get laid?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
a search helicopter?!
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
