You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
