fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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