If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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