remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize