weddingsv make me drug and hornr
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
