She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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