I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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