this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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