so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
he fucked my hip out of place.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
