theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
