I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
