What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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