Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
