im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
