then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
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The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
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Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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