Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
