i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
