Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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