The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
