I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
