when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
