Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
