i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
