Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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