she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
