Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
