He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
