Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
