someone threw a dead crab at me
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
