I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
