yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
