420 ftw
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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