it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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