Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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