That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just want to make out with him forever
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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