I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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