There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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