I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
