how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
