i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
