Kareoke will never be a sober sport
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
