Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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