I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
