i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
