cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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