he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
