it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
