the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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